


magic and automail don't mix

by HouseByTheLake



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Edward gets his alchemy back, Everyone swears, Gen, Multi, adding tags as the story progresses, but also gets back his automail arm, but hawkeye is a lesbian - fact, everyone gets sent back to their bodies from the Promised Day, i just really liked fuery and wanted him in a fic is that too much to ask, kain fuery is baby, lan fan never gets any credit either, roy mustang is a shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseByTheLake/pseuds/HouseByTheLake
Summary: HIATUS ~ : It's been 8 years since the Promised Day; traveling around the Xing empire, Edward and Alphonse stop in Amestris for an automail inspection before heading back to Xing and get caught up with a military kidnapping turned cult sacrifice. When this clueless bunch find themselves in an alternate universe and 70 years into the future, they must find a way back home all the while dealing with a strange Order, a Dark Lord, and a school full of nosy children. Did I mention that their bodies also have to go back in time and everyone must play the part of wizarding students and professors from a foreign land?
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96





	1. 8 years after the Promised Day...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so please bear with me about the shitty writing since I've never really written before. Disclosure: I have the bare minimum on how I want to direct this fic, so this should be fun... Also, it's been a while since I've read Harry Potter and have watched/read Fullmetal, so I'm a little rusty. Enjoy!

In the summer of 1923 is where everything went to shit once again for the Elric Brothers. ‘One would think the Elric genes must just be made of bad luck,’ Edward thinks to himself as he lays on the cold stone, contemplating his life after having the air kicked out of his chest. 

Ed’s groan turns into a hiss instead as the ground around him wraps around his body a little too tightly as the tendrils trap him to the cold, hard surface. “Wow, Elric. You really lost your fighting spirit after all these years,” Ed hears across the room, even with the commotion coming from the fighting happening right beside him. 

Even with all that’s going on, he could still recognize the irritating voice of his ex-superior; Roy Mustang. With what little breathe he has left, Ed replies, “At least I didn’t get myself and my officers kidnapped,” wheezing, then adding, “You old man.” Ed smirks, knowing Mustang’s brow definitely twitched with irritation at the old comment. 

The general has been living in peace in Central after The Promised Day, giving up on his ambition for being Fuhrer and leaving it to Grumman. One would think he was pretty lonely after his team split but Riza Hawkeye was still there to give him enough… ambition (with the use of ammunition) to keep him busy. Mustang had thought he’d finally be free of a few golden-haired nuisances but this less-than-amusing situation was really bringing the gang back together. With Riza on one side of him, Fuery on his other, and Havoc behind him, this scene would be lovely if it was in a bar and not with rope tying himself and his colleagues to each other. Mustang can only think now that Vato had the right idea about retiring after The Promised Day, if only he could keep himself busy enough not to drink himself into an early grave. He also didn’t have a loving family like Falman. Mustang almost wishes he transferred to the North with Heymans- almost being the keyword, along with ‘Olivier Armstrong’ being his biggest deterrent. Now here he is, stuck in a dusty warehouse with only the Elric brothers and there Xing entourage as their saviors. 

Before Mustang can retaliate with another snarky comment, Hawkeye clears her throat before saying, “Sir, perhaps thinking about getting us out of this mess would be more beneficial than childish squabbling.” Ed winces, both at Hawkeye’s terrifying tone and the uncomfortable tightening of the rock around him. While Ed missed Hawkeye and the rest of the team, he definitely didn’t miss the steel-cold tone of ‘The Hawk’s Eye’. She did look good in her short hair, cutting it for her and Catalina’s wedding. Ed had been invited but unfortunately had been caught up with his adventures in Xing. Winry went though, with Pinanya as her date. It was simple but very lively considering the many military friends who had come to get drunk and congratulate the lieutenants. 

Mustang goes silent, most likely thinking of a plan after being scolded by Riza. Ed, though, isn’t paying any attention to the military dogs, trying to angle himself so he can check on his brother and his ‘traveling buddies’. Edward is only able to just spot Ling Yao and Lan Fan bouncing around the corrupt alchemist guild members, whom have been able to somehow kidnap the high-ranking military officials even with their half-rate alchemy and mediocre fighting skills. 

With Ling Yao and Lan Fan in sight, whom he was traveling over the East with in order to better relations between Amestris and the Xing Empire, Ed only needed to try to pinpoint where his little brother was. Straining his neck upward as far as he could without hurting himself, he was able to see his brother in the middle of a transmutation. After the first few years after the Promised day, Al had to handle some pretty rough physical therapy due to his atrophied body. With the help of Ed and Winry, he was able to build up his body enough to go traveling in Xing in order to continue his research into Alkahestry, but he still has to use a cane for long distances on foot. Mei was also a surprisingly good teacher and Al was able to learn enough from her to go traveling around Xing to learn from other Masters of Alkahestry. 

Al was having a good time too until his brother decided to lie, or as Ed would call “withholding the truth”, about his automail leg and when he last got it looked at by Winry. Al had been called back to Amestris with his brother and companions after an enlightening and loud phone call from Winry about Ed’s mandatory leg tune-up. Once Winry was able to check over Ed’s leg while also giving him a few good licks from her wrench, she surprised the brothers by telling them how she proposed to Paninya. Congratulating the two, they were off on their long journey back to Xing after promising to be back for the wedding… except some military personnel decided to get themselves kidnapped and the Elrics thought it’d be a great idea to help out some old friends. Thus, their situation now and why Al was trying his best to not die -- again. 

The younger Elric brother claps his hands and throws them against the floor, rippling the floors composition in order to cause a minor earthquake in the area around the four alchemists cornering him. With the alchemists on the floor and groaning Al, already sweating from having to do fast-paced alchemy compositions that he was not used to, looks towards his brother and sees him struggling against is cement binds. “Brother!”, he yells, already planning on heading towards him when he was caught off guard by an alchemist behind him. 

The alchemist, holding Ed’s metal staff that he had been using in Xing, swings back and hits the youngest Elric across his forehead, sending him sprawling to the floor. Watching Al’s brow bleeding and lying exceptionally still, Ed yells out his name. “AL!” Ed gasps out, the stony binds hugging him so closely now that he could barely speak without losing his breathe. 

Ling and Lan hear Ed’s distress, breathing heavily due to the amount of alchemists advancing towards them constantly. Ling manages to spot Al’s prone body and signals for Lan Fan to head over to check on him. Hesitating slightly, Lan Fan heads over to Al after sending a rather bulky looking alchemy cult member into several of his other ‘buds’. She swiftly crouches down next to Alphonse and checks his pulse, indicating the strength and determining that he was merely knocked out. Preparing to defend the youngest Elric, she turns around suddenly after hearing her prince’s distressed grunt. She lands her eyes on Ling being held back by several cultists, managing to transmute a bundle of ropes around him. Lan, too focused on her prince, realizes too late that she also was transmuted to her spot, her feet stuck in the warehouses cement.

“I’m thinking we are a little rusty with the whole ‘saving people’ thing, huh?” Ling manages to gasp out, the ropes almost deathly tight around him. Ed was too distressed about his brother and too out of breath from the cement binds around him to pay attention to Ling’s banter. Havoc and Fuery were looking at each other from the corner of their eyes, thinking the same thing: ‘We are screwed.’

“Finally, the prophecy is almost complete!” an odd and most-definitely irritating voice bellows out from the shadows. The cultists that are able to get up from being beaten were dragging their unconscious cult member buddies. Clearing out the way, Riza was able to notice the drawing on the concrete floor, looking towards Mustang to notice that he too just realized how fucked they were. 

“Once the circle is activated, the prophecy will be complete! We’ll have saved them! We will save them all!”, the voice once again goes off, sounding more and more insanity-filled, which does fit the situation quite accurately. Ed’s struggling against his binds starts to slow, his breaths getting more ragged. “Al… Ling… Lan…”, he manages to gasp out, his eyes steadily closing. The last thing he sees is the glowing blue light of the transmutation circle.


	2. Waking up sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologize for posting this chapter so late! I wanted to get it out a week after the first but I had some real world stuff happen i.e school, health problems. Updates will probably be pretty slow since I'm trying to plan out how I want this series to go. (Just a heads up that I went back and edited the first chapter a bit; not really too important just some world building that isn't crucial to the story except that I’ve added Havoc into the story but I recommend reading it anyways bc I just like it better than before.)

Waking up on cool, dark floors in dim and damp places was happening way too often for Edward, he needed to rethink his choices that leads to him sleeping in shit places like this. Groaning, Ed rolls over enough to get himself to sit up on his knees. He looks around with a splitting headache, slowly starting to remember what happened. He quickly looks around and notices several bodies laying around him, enough bodies to make it look less suspicious for Ed’s tiny power nap. He finally spies his brother’s familiar golden-blonde hair, not even taking in the length of it (which had grown way too much for the amount of time he was knocked out). Ed rushes to his side and starts looking over his brother. 

Ed is so focused on his brother’s wellbeing, which isn’t looking that good considering how he was starting to look exactly how he did after The Promise Day, that he doesn’t notice the other bodies stirring. Riza and Havoc are the first of the four pile of bodies stacked on the far side of the dark room to become alert. Riza immediately moves her hand to where her handgun was strapped and, realizing belatedly that she didn’t have it, she also realizes the length of her hair had grown a shocking couple inches since being knocked out during the transmutation. Riza immediately starts looking over Mustang and Fuery, who seem to be waking slower than the rest. Havoc tries to get up in order to check on the Xing travelers and the Elric brothers but realizes that he couldn’t move his legs. Doing a pretty good job of keeping his panic from showing on his face, he looks over to Hawkeye in order to let her know that he is unable to walk again. 

Unbeknownst of the impending chaos happening on both opposing corners of the room where the military dogs and the Elrics were, Lan Fan and Ling Yao were already up and looking around at their surroundings with critical eyes. Ling Yao silently signals for Lan Fan to check on the brothers while he surveys the room. Lan Fan nods her confirmation, Ling already starting to walk around.

The room lacked any natural light, either indicating that they were in a room that was intentionally made without windows or they were underground. Considering the earthy, damp smell, Ling was thinking the latter. Ling noted that there was one wooden door with lighting seeping under it, this being the only light in the whole room. The light may be dim and limited to the surroundings of the door but Ling was able to notice the markings of a transmutation circle around the tiny room. Whatever that circle did, it seemed to have transported them somewhere…

Edward finally was able to focus his breathing enough to notice that Lan Fan was now next to him and trying to help with Al -- Al who was now once again a husk of a boy. Al’s breathes were shallow but he seemed to be doing alright for being a bag of bones. Ed finally noticed the old, familiar creaking from his right arm. He looks down and is thrown for a second at seeing his old automail arm. ‘Fuck.’ is the only word Ed could think of to describe the situation he was in and he finally remembered the odd ‘dream’ he had while he was knocked out. Considering the youth everyone around him suddenly obtained, his dream with Truth wasn’t a dream at all. 

\---

“Well, well, well… it’s been a while Edward Elric...” a familiar voice speaks to him, a voice that Ed wishes he could forget. Groaning, Ed opens his eyes to Truth sitting before him.

“I can’t say I’m all that happy to be here, I’m afraid.” Ed says, glaring warily at the shapeless being in front of him. 

“Aw, but I missed you Edward. You always made my job so…”, Truth begins to smirk, or what could be called a smirk, turning Ed’s stomach inside out, “ amusing.”

After a brief pause, Edward impatiently asks, “So what am I doing here again? Didn’t I already giving you everything of mine.” Ed shifts uncomfortably as Truth’s smirk widens.

“You did pull such an amazing stunt last time, I applaud you… But it seems that you are once again needed. Your dear alchemy buddies made sure of that.” Ed’s eyebrow twitches at the ‘alchemy buddies’ part but he doesn’t have time to retort or question Truth’s intentions. 

“You and your ‘friends’,” the way Truth said the last word sent shivers down Ed’s spine, “are going to be needed in order to help with another pesky problem of mine. Someone thinks that they can make themselves live forever, not unlike your dear father.” Ed manages to keep himself from visibly twitching from the mention of his father but he has a feeling Truth knows how uncomfortable Ed is and just doesn’t care.

“While you are going to need alchemy in order to take down this interloper, I cannot restore your gate but I can send your body into a time where your gate will be accessible.” Truth finishes, giving Ed a pause for his questions. 

“What do you mean you need my help? Who am I meant to find? What am I supposed to do when I find them? What do you mean ‘a time where my gate will be accessible?” Ed rambles on until Truth’s smile broadens almost painfully so, causing Ed to shut up. 

“Of course you have so many questions for a scientific brain like yours. That’s why I’ll implement a small summary of the world you will be transported to into your brain, along with your company. And when I say to fix a pesky problem,” Truths grin almost feral now, “I mean eliminated the problem any way you can. Now, I think it’s about time you head back to your friends, Edward.” 

Before Ed can say anything else, his vision blackens and all he can think is that his head fucking hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ed, waking up to see truth: aw shit, here we go again


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops? haha... i had most of the chapter done at the beginning of Feb, but i havent had the time to finish it up. as an apology, here’s a somewhat long chapter?

Several minutes passed while Mustang and Fuery awoke with Riza’s violent efforts, aka smacking them until they roused. After she successfully got the two to rise, although groggily, she heard a surprisingly quiet, “Uh.. Riza?” from Havoc. She looks over to him and notices that he hadn’t gotten up yet. 

“Havoc, why haven’t you surveyed our surroundings yet?” her tone stern but laced with concern if you knew her well enough to notice. Havoc shifted uncomfortably and said, just as quiet which was heavily out of place for him, “Riza… I can’t move. I can’t move my legs anymore.” Havoc was trying to keep the panic out of his voice but he really hated not being able to walk again; he didn’t feel as defeated as before but he was definitely close to it. ‘I could really used a cigarette right now.’ Havoc thinks as he tries to shift his weight when Riza immediately goes over to help him. 

Looking at her in order to distract himself, he notices Riza’s hair. “Hey Hawkeye, when’d you learn to grow your hair so fast?” he tries to joke but falls offkey as his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Riza lifts her hand from where it was placed on Havoc’s shoulder and touches her now long, blonde hair. “What the fu..

\---

“Al! Hey, can you hear me, Al?” Ed shifts his frail brother gently onto his back, trying not to cause any bruising on his body. Al groans in response causing his brother to release the breath he was holding. Ed looks up to Lan Fan who was frozen at Al’s other side, hands hovering over his brother’s body. “Hey, we need to get him out of here and into a hospital soon or he’ll freeze in this shithole.” Ed says to Lan in a strained voice, looking her in the eyes as she looks up from Al. She acts like she is about to say something, worry written all over her face, but she all too quickly closes her mouth with a blank expression and nods, getting up to tell Ling about the big, unconscious problem they have now. 

Leaving Ed to tend to his brother, Lan Fan finds her prince near the only doorway, staring at it with a complex expression. As she stands at attention next to him, she lets him know about Al’s condition and Ed’s new-old appearance. Ling nods slightly to indicate he heard, still staring at the door, asking Lan Fan if she can sense any chi signatures behind the door. 

Lan Fan stiffens, Ling noticing right away that their situation is not good— they were definitely not alone. Ling looks to everyone else, even with the numbers it looked like any confrontation right now would be grim. At least two men are down; everyone is in some way disoriented (some more than others). Ling looks to Lan Fan again, noticing a distinct look of confusion and cautiousness at the door. “What is going on, Lan?”, Ling says, snapping Lan Fan out of her trance-like state. 

“My lord, it just seems that more chi signatures.. I- They just instantly popped up.” Lan Fan quietly tells Ling, glancing his way then back to the door. ‘Popped up??’ Ling thinks. ‘Chi can’t just instantly pop out of nowhere.’ 

“What do you mean by ‘popped up’?” Ling asks in a neutral tone, looking towards the door, but his nervous shifting suggests his calm state is a facade. “Exactly what I mean. It just instantly blinked into existen-“ Lan Fan cut herself off, silencing anything the Prince was going to say by taking out her blade, getting into a fighting stance. Ling immediately follows her lead and they both back away from the door. 

This gains the attention of the officers. “What’s going on? Did you guys hear something?” Fuery asks, clumsily trying to stand up after having been knocked out. He immediately gets lightheaded but he is able to stabilize himself. ‘Oh man, I hate being out in the field like this.’ Fuery thinks solemnly to himself. 

Mustang, on the other hand, gracefully stands and positions himself in a pose that could be taken as nonchalant if it weren’t for his dangerous hand position causing his two fingers to rub together in anticipation. Before Mustang can ask as well, Lan Fan replies in a low, dangerous tone, “I see at least 3 large chi signatures headed our way. Be prepared.” 

In the next minute, everyone quietly shifted to defend their fallen and prepare for battle. Mustang and Hawkeye maneuver themselves in a parallel stance, positioning their bodies between Fuery, who is helping Havoc stay calm and comfortable, and Havoc, who is currently trying not to freak out over his broke-ass legs. Lan Fan and Ling also position themselves in the space from the door to the Elric brothers, who weren’t really doing so well in the ‘Calm’ department. Ed looked like he was going to keel over with worry and Al looks like he actually did keel over. Neither really good for a high stress situation like, say, teleporting into a dark, macabre basement where several powerful unknown chi signatures were about to go into. 

A collective inhale of breath was taken from the room as the door opens with a great force. In walked four drastically different looking individuals, odd enough that even Lan Fan the professional assassin hesitates to make the first move. It was almost like a bad “Walks into a bar” joke; a very rough looking dude with a shifty eye and peg leg comes in first with a stick pointed at Ling and Lan Fan— like a crazy pirate if pirates did crack; another man with scars littering his face and drabby clothes, who also wields a tiny stick, walks in and points said stick in Hawkeye and Mustang’s direction; behind them both a man with black hair and even darker eyes comes up wielding a — can you guess? — another tiny stick, pointing it in both directions as if these obviously sad, homeless men were going to hurt them with it. 

Ed looks up, because his one-track mind doesn’t recognize the tensity of the situation, has him calling, “GUYS, Al really needs a doctor. It’s like the Promised Day all over again. He’s dying.” Edward’s eyes finally shift over to the now confused but still visibly hostile men at the door. “Who the fuck are these raggedy shits?” Ed’s voice loses the edge of desperation, confusion shifting into his tone. Hearing Al make another groan in his lap, Ed’s desperation kicks back full force as he looks to his brother again, saying, “SHIT, it doesn’t matter! We need to get him help!” 

After a moment of silence, Scarface is the one who finally caves. He lowers his very frightening stick with an unreadable look— perhaps a mix of confusion, sadness, and a little bit of relief? “Moody, Padfoot, I reckon these were some type of prisoners. They don’t look to be death eaters.” The man says, glancing towards Ed and Al’s bodies on the ground. “I think we should get them some help.” 

This oddly heartwarming comment definitely defuses some tension between the homeless men and mix of foreigners. The shifty dark horse homeless guy also drops his stick to his side. However, some tension is still there as the crackhead pirate doesn’t lower his stick. Scarface looks between Mustang and Hawkeye, addressing them in a soft tone, “We don’t mean any harm. We have already detained the death eaters. We’d like to help.” 

Both Hawkeye and Mustang look at each other then look to Lan Fan and Ling, who were also were still frozen in confusion and looking to the soldiers for any type of plan. Mustang nods his head to the duo and they drop their weapons. Not releasing his fingers, Mustang graces the men with a soft look, trying for grateful hopefulness, “Please, we could use the help. Two of our men are injured, one needing immediate assistance.” He shifts towards the men slightly, eyeing the gruff crackhead pirate who still had his stick up. The guy pausing, getting a good look at Mustang that gives him a chill down his spine, and grunts softly as he too lowers his stick. “Fine. It looks like they are already weak enough. We should take them to a safehouse where we can get a healer to look at the other two.” He rasps out, but ending with a threatening look towards Mustang, “If any one of you do try something, we won’t hesitate to detain every one of you…”

—  
After a cautious dance of paranoia between everyone, another man in less shabby clothing with a head of hair the color of a shocking red literally pops into the room with everyone. This sets the foreigners on edge again, but seeing as the ‘wizards’ (at least what they said) seem friendly with the man then what else do they have to lose? The desperation to get Al and Havoc help, and to get out of the cold, dark basement was enough to distract everyone’s sense of danger. 

The wizards talk amongst themselves quickly before coming to an agreement. While still dazed with the man's sudden appearance, Havoc and Fuery are being grabbed by the red-head who smiles at the kindly and says, “ Up you go!” and promptly pops off with the two. Without time to think, Pirate is doing the same with Mustang and Riza, again disappearing into thin air. Scarface extends his hand out to both Ling and Lan Fan. Ling shrugs at his companion and both the Xingese travellers take the man’s hands, popping out of existence. Ed gently lifts his brother’s body up enough to where the dark-haired man is able to grab onto them both and vanish like the others. 

—-

Ed releases an unconscious sigh that he was holding in. Finally, Al was stabilized and getting treated for his malnutrition and muscle atrophy — again. Next time he saw Truth, he was going to go apeshit on their ass for putting his brother through this. Al had enough trouble the first time, even with all the support and medical help; now they were all stuck in a weird-ass alternate —universe? dimension? — place with a bunch of weird-ass people. ‘Like, wizards? Are you fucking kidding?’ Ed thinks to himself as he scrubs his flesh hand down his face. Another reason why bonking Truth’s head would be great right now would be for his newly acquired arm — or is it oldly acquired? No, that’s stupid…

Ed, lost in his head, doesn’t realize the new guests in his and his brother’s room. “Fullmetal..”, shakes Ed out of his thoughts and he looks over towards Mustang and band of not-so-merry subordinates, adding on Ling and Lan Fan who head straight to Edward’s side. Lan Fan looks critically at Al’s prone form and says, “He’s looking well.” in a bland tone, stiffly sitting next to Al’s other side. 

Ed leans back, arms crossed, and snorts at Lan Fan’s attempt at comforting words. “Yeah, I’d say so. His recovery time with the-“ Ed scowls as he works his to saying ‘potions’ but he can’t get himself to do it — it’s too stupid. “-wizard medicine is a lot shorter. Whatever they used on him, sure as hell is doing a good job.” 

Edward was skeptical about the wizards using some weird potion, hoodoo shit on his brother but he was honestly getting desperate, considering Al’s temperature drop and the whole not breathing thing. Plus, they also saved their asses back there even if they were shady as fuck. 

Ed stares at his brother’s face, squeezing his hand lightly. If Edward ever sees Truth again, he swears that he’ll punch the bastard in it’s non-existent face for putting his brother through this shit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... im not sure if FMA canonically has crack but it also has NOT been disproved. and if i ever saw Moody i’d DEFINITELY think the dude was on some hard drugs


	4. Not an Update

sorry for not updating, just wanted to let anyone whose reading this know that i will be unable to post for the foreseeable future due to all of the negative effects from quarantine. i know my posting schedule is basically non-existent but i just wanted to let yall know. i appreciate all the comments and kudos! thank you so much. hopefully ill be able to post again when i can :)

in the meantime, stay safe and healthy! stay inside but dont forget to take care of yourselves :)


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